Journal Entry 4/13/17:
“It has been forever since I have written in this journal. I am falling apart. Depression is killing me from the inside out. Not one thing makes me feel happy anymore. It takes all the energy in the world to put a smile on my face. I want to die. I can’t put up with this anymore. It has been going on for what seems like forever, and it just gets progressively worse. Now people hate me for how I have been acting, secluded and unsocial with spells of crying. I don’t know what to do, I feel trapped. I need help.”
IV.XIV.XVII or April 14, 2017:
That was the day my roommates saved my life. That night my three roommates confronted me about everything going on & I broke down and told them everything. They told me that everything was going to be alright. They told me that they were there for me no matter what, but in order to help myself & get better, I had to call my parents and tell them what was going on.
I was terrified. I knew it was best to call out for help, but I didn’t want them to worry. I didn’t want to impact their life in a negative way, I didn’t want them to bare any of the weight I was carrying. It was a lot for them to take on. My first instinct was to call my mom, who has been close to me my entire life. Once I told her what was going on, she expressed how worried she was about me but was unsure of what to do because she was out of town for a business trip. We talked for hours. When we hung up, she called my dad and filled him in. The minute he heard what was going on, he loaded up our 3 dogs and drove 5 hours to my college to see me. He drove through the night. We grabbed breakfast the next morning and he told me that everything would be okay and that he will do everything in his power to help.
April 14th changed my life. I don’t know how much longer I would have made it on my own. I will be forever grateful for that day, my friends and my family. This tattoo is a reminder that I am never alone and that I can overcome anything.
AND SO CAN YOU! Trust me, you can get through this. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much you want to give up, know that you are stronger than you believe.